All about Michael

Okay, I decided this news was more deserving than being placed as the footnote of a long and late post.  No, this is an announcement worthy of a post all it's own!

ATTN. PARENTS EVERYWHERE:  MY KID IS MORE AWESOMER THAN YOUR KID!!!

Just kidding...sort of...lol  :-P
  
Michael earned A honor roll and the Panther's Choice award during the 2nd 6 wks. period, his first at the new school. The Panther's Choice award is the top student in the class award and each awardee is invited to an ice cream party. Yay Michael!

 Now, we just need to practice holding our awards for the camera....

Happy Feast of Saint Nicholas!

And speaking of jolly-fat men, belated-birthday shout-out to Daddy, too!  In honor of your birthday, I went old school for you.  I'm chubbier in this pic!

So much to cover, so little time left that I can legitimately stay in my sweats today...

So, right after the annual candy-gorging festivus, both kids took turns with a nasty winter cold.  But, not before we finally met our new niece/cousin, Abigail Joy, born Oct. 18th.  Baby Joy is so precious and I am sure she will bring her parents and big sisters much joy!

I'm so grateful that the kids and Paul didn't manage to pass any germs before they became symptomatic.  And yes, you read that right.  Paul fell claim to it as well for a short time, leaving me the last woman standing - per usual.  After his and the kids bout with swine flu last October, I'm beginning to fear a new family tradition has taken shape.  Fortunately, we were all better in time to visit Arkansas for Thanksgiving.


There was lots of yummy food to be had by all.  And as usual, I felt more comfortable chatting with the aunts, uncles, and grandparents, while Paul and the kids ran around playing with their respective cousins/second cousins.  I didn't really have a chance to take many pictures because my cell phone camera has officially returned to the hellfires from whence it came.  But, I did manage to snap this lovely gem with Paul's phone during breakfast in front of Grandma & Grandpa Pote's place. Ovaltine and Nutterbutters - breakfast of champions.

And here she is doing her dancing woodland faery impression.  Unfortunately, whilst watching this display I missed seeing my cousins on TV during the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade!  Uncle Chris' family was invited to be guests of Step Up for Soldiers at the Macy's Parade.  They stayed in a hotel in Midtown Manhatten and were interviewed while watching the parade from a VIP (indoor!) viewing area.

Uncle Chris, Aunt Christinne, Katie, Moosie, and Austin (clockwise)

     

Upon our return, I headed over to Grandma Mary's so that I could get some old pictures that I needed to complete a Christmas gift that I am making.  First thing to grab my eye was this pic of my mom from when she was about 13.  I guess Katie and Moosie know where their red hair came from now. 

Then, I found these pictures of my grandma and my great grandma when they were young.

Great-Grandma Flora

Grandma Mary

 Finally, people, I have been accused of using the classic tongue-sticking out pose as a picture taking crutch.  Because, as we all know, there are few things I dislike more than having a camera shoved in my face.  I prefer being the photographer - not the subject.  But, I can now, definitively say, "Blame it on Grandma!"

Way belated, but...

Better late than never! :)

So, I thought I was ahead of the game.  Coralie wanted to be a fairy princess and Michael insisted until the very last possible moment that he wanted to be a robot...again.  It was a cool costume, I have to say.


Then - Michael changed his mind.  So, Halloween 2010 - Michael was...

 And so, what would Mario be without a Princess to save?

Thank you, Salvation Army and Joann Fabric!  And Grandma Rodriquez & Daddy, too!

First Week.

Well, it was Michael's first week back to school.  All in all, things seem pretty okay.  Paul, I, or both of us drop him off at school just before 8am.  And Grandma picks him up afterschool.  He eats cookies and decompresses at Grandma's.  Then, he comes home to do his homework and play a computer game.  We eat dinner.  Bedtime routine.  And by 8:15, he is out like a light.  He seems to be doing okay.  The school work is ridiculously easy.  But, he's making friends.  And his teachers seem to like him.  So, I guess it's a win.

Tuesday, Grandma was feeling bad for him.  So, she bought him a Spiderman board game.  We were  He was super excited to play it.  It was nice - much better than the Settlers fiasco.  Funny how he loved it at first, but by the end of it he wanted anyone to win so he could go to sleep.  We play some marathon Settlers of Catan in this house.  I think this might be why its so hard to get people to come over and play.  Anyway, Spiderman was just the right duration a game for a school night.  So, score!  Thanks, Grandma!

Coralie and I have thoroughly enjoyed our time together.  She did still cry this morning when we dropped Michael off at school.  But, I think it was more for my benefit than hers.  We spent some time at White Rock Lake this week.  I took some pictures on Thursday.  She looked like a little cheerleader for the team that makes Mama and Daddy cry - and sometimes other teams' fans - (Suck it, Texans!)

Weee!

Me thinks this was higher than I first thought...

Are you done with that camera yet?

Fine.  Take your picture.

I hope you brought bail money.

Smile?

Money shot!

I have to say I felt very conflicted.  On the one hand, my daughter is adorable...on the other hand, cheerleader - ugh.  The shirt was from Grandma, though.  And I know Grandma Rodriquez really wanted her little Jessica to be a girly-girl.  Too bad for her, Jessie liked to play with GI Joes.  So, I guess we should indulge her for now.

So, Real life conversation from this afternoon:

Me: (running late as usual)  Coralie we have to hurry and get to the car.
Coralie: No, Mama. No car. (firmly.  There may have been a foot stamp.)
Me: But, Coralie, we have to pick up Daddy from work.  Don't you want to see Daddy?
Coralie: (sweetly) Ummm...nope. (firmer, still.)No. I. pick up. Daddy.
Me: (desperate now) But, Coralie, don't you want cookies?
Coralie: Cookies? (I'm sure you know the voice/inflection.)
Me: (knowing I will win no parenting awards) Yeah, we have to pick up Daddy if we want to go to the store to get cookies.
Coralie: Okay, I ah get Daddy.  Come on, Mama.  (grabbing my hand & dragging me now)Let's go a uh Car.
A short while later while buckling her seatbelt....
Coralie: Mama?
Me: Yes, Coralie.
Coralie:Where a Michael?
Me: (NOOOOO!  michael is spending the night at Grandma's and Coralie will want to spend the night, too.)
Coralie: I want Michael. Oh nooooo( familiar?), where a michael gooooo? (voice escalating to near fit)
Me:  You want Michael?
Coralie: Yessss.(woefully, tearfully, and with an emphatic nod)
Me: Would you rather have Michael or cookies? (I'm going to hell.) 
Coralie: (no hesitation) Cookies. (no more tears)  Let's go a uh store.
Me: Daddy first, right?
Coralie: Oh-Kay.  A-Daddy firs.


That's my baby girl.  She knows what she wants.  She knows what she values. And she can act quickly, decisively, and resolutely to navigate between the two.  Already, the woman I want to be.  And bonus points for making an awesome fairy princess!

Tinkerbell, eat your heart out!

deliciously tired

 

So, we've had a really busy but fantastic couple of days!  Yesterday, we attended the Fort Worth Zoo homeschooler's day!  Seriously Awesome Day!  This is a picture just outside of the country's most elite herpetarium, the  Museum of Living Art.  The Meet the Animals exhibit was really cool for the kids.  And it was neat to see so many other homeschoolers.  Some of those parents take it SUPER seriously.  And I thought I was pretty bad.  I saw a lot T-shirts with the "name" of their homeschool and mission statements.  I didn't really have a mission statement.  I just want to help my children grow into well-rounded, well-educated, confident, KIND, good people.  Did you catch the past tense?  Today is officially our last day of "first grade at home."  Michael starts the Adaptive Behavior and Communication first grade class at Parkcrest Elementary on Monday.  He should be in a normal classroom with an aide about 60% of the day.  And he will be on the full first grade curriculum.  Honestly, though, he's doing higher grade level work at home.  So, we'll try to supplement after-school and on the weekends.  I just need to make sure he doesn't burn out.  Wish us luck.

Michael and the Macaw

Coralie and an Elephant

Sadly, none of my pictures turned out nicely from Wednesday.  We went to the State Fair of Texas!  Coralie rode her first Ferris wheel and loved every second of it!  I'll have to see if Mama's pics came out any better than mine did.  (Here's hoping I get a new camera for my birthday.  So sick of the camera on my phone.)Did you know that the Texas Star Ferris Wheel at the State Fair is the tallest Ferris wheel in North America at 212 feet tall (about 21 stories high)? 

Our plans for today?  So happy you asked!  Veg. Veg. Veg.

Only you can make Appendicitis look this good ;)

Sat up with my baby bro all night in the ER.  I'm feeling really bad about calling him a big baby about the stomach cramps he was whining about in the morning - see there I go again.  Note to my nearly a nurse bro, Michael:  The appendix is on your left not his! <3  Lub!  Anyway, I'm glib now because the surgery went fine this morning.  I'm sure Justin will love me posting this picture.  I love you! I love you! I love you! I have to sleep now though.  I will see you at Mom's tomorrow.

Aunt Beatrice

My Aunt Beatrice died this weekend. She was in end-stage liver failure. She was very sick. We lost her Sunday afternoon. The doctors brought her back. But, in the end, her heart was too weak to sustain her life.

She was a good woman who gave more of herself than almost anyone I've ever known. She was married to my uncle, an alcoholic, for over 30 years. She raised her children and then raised her grandchildren following her son's enlistment in the Army. (The children's mother had abandoned the family some years before.) Despite her struggles, losses, and how busy her life was, she always remembered me. She called me by the nickname she'd given me (or maybe I'd given myself) as a baby even when I was an adult with two babies of my own. And she regularly sent her grandson's hand-me-downs for Michael - usually pressed - just to help out and to let me know that she was thinking of me, that I was loved. She found a way to care for everyone who came into her life.

She was my cousin and best friend, Robert's, godmother. I think the person he was and the way he lived his life speaks volumes about the type of person she was. He learned and lived by her example. I feel certain they are both saints and with Our Father in Heaven now.

She will be painfully missed by the grandchildren she raised and her granddaughter born (to her daughter, Lisa) just a week ago. With the rest of the family, I grieve most for them.

30 before 30 27 before 27

So, it occurs to me that I live a very interior life. I spend way more time inside my head than is probably healthy for anyone. This has lead to decisions that have made little sense to others looking in from the outside. It has also lead to an inordinate amount of obsessing on my end which in turn has lead to at least half of those decisions: 10 lb. bag of sugar, I'm looking at you. I say this as a preface, an explanation - okay, an excuse.

I am going to be thirty.

No, not this year or even next year, but soon. I can feel it, the looming specter of my third decade on this spinning globe. I feel much closer to the ghost of who I will be at age 30 than to the ghost of who I was at 20. But, I recently got to thinking about all of the expectations that the girl I was then had for the woman I was/am to become. So, I turned to Dr. Google for some remedy for my growing angst and came across the idea for 30 before 30. And I made a list. And then, I thought about how 10 items per year for the next 3 years seemed fairly unambitious, perhaps even slothful. So, I amended the list with some goals that will help me reach some of the goals on the 30 before 30 list. And I came up with a 28 before 28. And then, having given myself the cookie and the glass of milk, I realized that its rather lazy to put off till tomorrow what I can start today. So, I made a list of 27 things to do before I turn 27. Mind you, I have approximately 75 days till my 27th birthday.

Now, according to a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology (Lally et al. (2009),) this gives me an ideal time-frame in which to develop some positive habits. So, most of my 27 before 27 revolve around doing (or not doing) an activity for 70 days consecutively. So, it is with the hope of some form of shame-inducing accountability that I unveil my 27 before 27. I hope to review my successes and failures on my birthday and soon after to unveil the 28 before 28.

1. Review my English Syntax textbook.

2. Read: How to Prove it - a structural approach, in an attempt to sharpen my capacity for asserting my opinions with intelligent analysis rather than mere unthinking emotional reaction.

3. Read: Don Quixote. Yes, I know the story. But, I would actually like to read and appreciate its historical and literary value rather than just get through it taking from it only whats necessary to pull off a good grade.

4. Ditto: Pilgrim's Progress. Okay, truthfully, I've never ACTUALLY read this book.

5. Ditto: Gulliver's Travels.

6. Find a red wine that I genuinely enjoy drinking.

7. Read St. Teresa of Avila's The Way of Perfection.

Okay, for 70 days consecutively:

8. Schedule 30 min per day for self-education.

9. Make my bed every morning.

10. Schedule 30 min per day for bible study.

11. Jog 30 min per day - treadmill is fine.

12. Walk a minimum 3 mi. per day during the course of the day

13. Do 100 crunches daily.

14. Quit drinking soda and syrupy drinks. (Quality cocoa and Izze are NOT syrupy)

15. Make morning routine include green tea, breakfast, and vitamins daily

16. Incorporate an Afternoon Tea into my daily routine just after 3pm. Make it
herbal and non-caffeinated for the good of all involved.

17. Drink 75% of my body weight in ounces of water per day.

18. Wipe down the counters and sweep the floor EVERY night before bed.

19. Brush my teeth and floss the way the dentist recommends.

20. Practice yoga at least 15 min. each day.

21. Replace swearing with heartfelt aspirations - most especially, "Blessed be the name of God forever," when I hear the name of the Lord taken in vain.

22. Remember the Divine Chaplet at 3pm daily for 70 consecutive days.

23. Pray grace before all of my meals.

24. Pray the Angelus before dinner at 6.

25. Learn my basic prayers in Latin.

26. Prepare Michael for baptism this year, Insha'Allah

27. Incorporate Insh'Allah into my vernacular.



Wish me luck on the rest! :)

Happy Autumnal Equinox!

I love that word - autumnal. Go ahead, no one's watching or listening. Say it out loud, "Autumnal." I love the way it rolls around in my mouth and off my tongue. Anyway, like I said before, happy first day of autumn.

It's kind of cloudy and less oppressively warm outside, if a bit humid. I wouldn't say cool. Cool would have been Alaska at this time of year. The leaves would be changing colors. And there would be just a little crispness in the air in the mornings. The first snow would be arriving in about a month. I wish Michael could remember what it was like up north and near the mountains. And, I wish Coralie had experienced it. For all the other negative feelings associated with that time in our lives, I do miss the geography. Sometimes, I find the flatness of Garland really dispiriting.

I updated my blog design and read over my profile once again. Profile is still rather accurate. I'm still quixotical by nature if not by action. And I find a kind of poignancy to the glib remark about being "prone to bouts of narcissistic depression during months ending in 'r,'" on this September morning.

Homeschooling with Michael has been educational for me at the very least. He's very bright and some mornings very easy to work with. But, when he's bored it feels like he takes to giving all incorrect answers just to spite me. It's been challenging to determine exactly where his skill level is. I can see now exactly how his test scores could have shown regression at the end of last school year. His handwriting does need lots of work - maybe even OT. But, with the remainder of his academics, it seems every time I think we've reached a good jumping off point I find the material is still far too easy for him. After a couple of painful days in math in a new workbook (we are using CLE math), I decided to just skip to the end of workbook test and found that he had already mastered the material. I'm torn between just moving on to spelling (as his reading level is very impressive) and finishing his phonics curriculum. I think the phonics lessons could be helpful if only because I think much of his reading skill is due largely to an excellent memory for whole words. But, I can tell he hates the simplistic text. He's proving to be an excellent student with the grammar and language lessons, but he is losing patience with the amount of review that comes with the program I am using. He hates history - which I can't even begin to understand because it was by far MY favorite subject and definitely the one I was most excited about teaching. It's hard because I feel like I'm failing him, somehow; but at the same time I know that in public school his teachers would not have nearly as much time or the capacity to tailor his curriculum to his abilities.

And then, of course, there is that gnawing doubt about what I am doing. The fact is I am not just raising and educating an academically gifted child. I am raising and educating an autistic child with undeniable social deficiencies and his (not really a) baby (anymore)sister who really needs and deserves more attention than I have giving her during the past month.

I met with a speech pathologist at the Callier Center at UT Dallas earlier this week to discuss Michael entering a pragmatic social skills group on the Richardson campus. And she reconfirmed what my gut and my mother have been telling me for awhile. Of course, Michael would want to homeschool because being in school takes him outside of his comfort zone, socially. He has less control over his surroundings at school than he does at home. Furthermore, the therapist said that for as intelligent as Michael is, he may teach himself better how to adapt to his social environment and others than even therapy can (teach him.) Not that the learning experience can't have some painful moments, but that she has witnessed some very bright children of Michael's abilities in school learn to cope to the point that by high school most of their peers don't really notice their differences. And of course, that is something I want for Michael - not that I have ever been "Rah! Rah! Conformity, yea," but, of course, I want Michael to experience his life and development not alone.

The primary reason that Paul and I wanted to home-school Michael was to be certain that if he were going to have deficiencies, that we work on maximizing his strengths - that he maintain his academic edge. But, we don't want to go so far down that path that we neglect his opportunities to minimize his areas of weakness. So, we are paying for the extra pragmatic social skills therapy. We going to continue to drive him all over and outside of the county for his Lego socials. And the search continues for an appropriate cub scout troop with a trained, sensitive, and qualified troop leader. And maybe we need to try some kind of physical therapy or non-competitive, indoor sport. But, do we need to do more? We're talking about pushing him as far ahead as we can and sending him back to school next semester. But, if all interested parties now agree that he SHOULD be back in school, is it wise to waste time and delay his reentry? We agree that I should continue to work with him at home on a supplementary basis once he returns to school. So, if I'm going to do that anyway, should I just send him back to school now? There are no easy answers for any of this. Never mind the loss of precious moments cuddling with Michael on the couch and spontaneous hugs and kisses and the knowledge that the time-frame for a more permanent disappearance of those will be rapidly compressed by his re-introduction to other little boys and what is and is not cool for mainstream seven year olds.

And then, there's my newly three, Coralie. She had a beautiful birthday party filled with fun and lots love from all attendees and well-wishers.



There is a world of difference between Coralie, age 3 and Michael, age 3. And yet, I have that sicky, something's not quite right feeling. There's too much hand flapping and tip-toe walking and far too little eye-contact. And while she is much more verbal than Michael was, she is far less verbal than others her age. And I just really don't want to have her evaluated. Not that I won't. I know that its highly recommended that siblings of autistic children have their development slid under the microscope anyway. In fact, a call to the school district for Coralie is on today's agenda. I think I'm just tired of the struggle. And you know, on the subject of intervention and therapies, I want to go on the record saying just how VERY dysfunctional and anti-social "social skills groups" and "Mommy and Me" classes make me - and indeed have always made me feel.

May my freak flag ever wave on!

Sad Day

She was a very good girl. And I will miss her very much. :(

Thursday evening Haiku for You

He's an adult child,
Guitar Hero demi-god,
my loving husband.

Monday morning haiku

Weekend Rehab script:
Dishes can stay in the sink;
Ignore the laundry.

Thursday Haiku - courtesy of my exciting morning

Pee on hardwood floor!
Too early to drink at nine?
Mama needs some wine.

World Autism Awareness Day

Today is World Autism Awareness Day. For those of you who do not know, I have a brilliant, beautiful, amazing 6 year old son named Michael Santino. He is super sweet. He makes me smile larger and laugh harder than anyone or anything in this world. Also, he has ASD. What does that mean? He's "on the spectrum." ??? I Have A High Functioning Autistic Child. And honest to God, I wouldn't change a hair on his head. But, when out and about, I know there are quirks about him that make others uneasy. They don't really understand. And the worst thing is that I think he's beginning to realize he is different too. And people, different is NOT bad. Different is not defective. The other day, Michael had another of his panic attacks and he was worried about what would happen if mama and daddy died. "I'm not a man yet. I don't know how to cook. And I don't know how to drive." And I tried to reassure him that Mama and Daddy would not die anytime soon and before then, we would teach him how to drive and how to cook. He would be a man before he needed to worry about any of that. But, he had another concern that was harder to address. "But, mama, I'll be so lonely." For me, Autism Awareness is about making sure that my son isn't lonely - that there is a world of people out there that can understand and accept his differences, and maybe even love him for them. Thanks for reading.